(I have my second knee-replacement surgery - left knee- on Thursday. )
Fear
Fear sits on my chest
like a 400 pound sumo wrestler
crushes my shoulders
squeezes my lungs
refuses to be distracted
relentless in every way.
Nothing to do with
bravery or cowardice
all boils down
to risk and fortune
all is beyond my control
but still, I must choose.
What if I choose to go ahead
and the unexpected happens
what I had hoped to be better
turns out to be worse than before
or the very worst what if
I don't make it alive?
But what if I don't go ahead
and I remain as I am now
not what I was in the past
or expected in the future?
Fear, give me a break
let my prayers take you away.
9 comments:
Oh Diane...I so identify with the fear you describe in theis poem - the fear of real risks if a gamble is taken or if it is not. I do hope your prayers take the fear away. I add my prayers to yours.
You have captured the feelings of your fear so very well in this poem.
I pray as well that your prayers will take your fear away and also that everything will go well for you with Thursday's surgery and that it won't be long before you will be able to walk pain free!
Diane....all we be fine I predict. This surgery and recovery...a walk in the park...or better yet down that beach in Hawaii. You are in my thoughts.
Sending all good energy for really really speedy healing, Diane! Also pain-free walking, dancing, whatever suits you!
My Dear Sister...feel the fear and do it anyway! You can handle this with grace & dignity...I liken it to having a baby...you want to get it over with, but you know what you have to go through...and once you see that little face, or in your case, the pain free knee, all will be worthwhile. I look forward to the day when you are walking without pain! My prayer is that your fear subsides...as I know the surgery will go well! After all, you are your mother's daughter, that means you have nine lives! :) Love you!
Love to you Diane and I do hope you will be calm and pain-free soon. I guess enjoy the drugs before all the real work of physical therapy begins! May healing, love and warmth be yours.
Diane, I can feel your fear as I read your poem.
My thoughts and prayers will be with you on Thursday for a successful surgery and then as you recouperate and you are one giant step closer to pain free use of both knees. I am so glad that you are brave enough to do this twice so you can have a better quality of life. You are my hero today. I always hope I will be able to look that fear in the face and, as your sister says, just do it anyway. Love and hugs to you.
"Fear is the door to discovery"
Best wishes and prayers from Aunt Velma and me.
I understand your fear Diane, and I hope it lets go prior to your surgery. I wish you complete relaxation and trust as you begin your surgery and I wish for you a much easier rehabilitation than your previous experience. I know it was a struggle for you...especially with others' saying how well their rehab went. I think things like that are like childbirth, we don't remember it, otherwise we wouldn't have more than one child. Sending prayers and love.
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