It's 8:00 am on Wednesday, and if all goes according to schedule, I will be in surgery at this time tomorrow. I am happy to share that I feel less nervous now than I did a few days ago. I think writing about my fear and reading your responses has helped me incredibly. I go to the hospital today to have a blood typing match and cross done. Don't know why they need to do that again since they already did it for the first surgery, but it is what is required. While I am in the hospital, Mary will post in my blog here how I am doing. I look forward to returning home and doing my own posts, but I am grateful to Mary for her assistance and consideration. No one could be more helpful.
Victoria, thank you for identifying and understanding my fears, and how much it is about choice. Of course, if it were ANY surgery I know I would be nervous because of the sedation much more than the outcome. So, I'll be very happy when I am 'awake' again. Thank you for your prayers.
Mary, you know more than anyone how bad I want to be walking pain-free again, and at this moment, I feel just plain walking again normally is more important than the level of pain. But you see the pain in my face when I have tried to do a normal walk, and I know that is just as hard for you as it is for me... and you remember that look which I don't see. I hope that look you see will be replaced by one of happiness and joy because I know it will make you happier too.
Sue, ah, a walk down the beach in Hawaii! With me smiling! Indeed, that is my goal! Thank you for your good wishes, and for being such a great example yourself with your attitude about surgery and how to recover. I have definitely learned lessons from your experience.
Ann, thank you for sending good energy. Energy is something else I am craving. I am indeed tired of being a couch potato!
Laney, my beloved sister, I remember you talking about that book -- Feel The Fear & Do It Anyway. I agree, that is the best approach! Thank you for reminding me of those words. And yes, indeed, I am my mother's daughter just like you... and yes, we can do anything, just like her. I will be reminding myself of that tomorrow morning as they wheel me in!
Peggy, thanks for your pain-free wishes... I know you have gone through several pain issues as well. Sigh. Not like we were 12 years ago, huh? LOL.
Judy, thank you for your wishes, and hoping that it will be one GIANT step closer to being the way I'd like to be. That's exactly my hope as well. I do accept that a few more things, mostly to do with my right foot, may need some steps as well, but hopefully this will be one of the major steps! I wish YOU pain-free knees as well, and soon!
Val, thank you for your quotation, "Fear is the door to discovery." Indeed, that is a good way of looking at it too. When you are brave enough to do something you fear, you can walk into a whole new world, I agree. I appreciate knowing that you and your mother, my Aunt Velma, are praying for me. Others here may not know this, but Aunt Velma is my dad's baby sister, and she has had both her knees replaced less than two years ago, not both at once but one at a time like me. My dad had one knee replaced, and wanted more than anything to have the second one replaced. But unfortunately, he had a stroke the day before his scheduled surgery, so he was never able to get it done. I know he wished he had done both much earlier. I believe he was 84 when he had the stroke, but it might have been 85. So, in a way, this is something I am doing for my dad, and it touches me so much to know that my Aunt Velma is aware and observing.
Thank you Willow for your comments and wishing me a shorter rehab than last time. I never thought it was long or unusual for several months. It appears that the main reason for length of time has to be the condition of that knee and length of time it had been in that condition. It takes a long time to rebuilt atrophied muscles, ligments and tendons. I believe that those features are going to be in better condition on this knee, although both knees were equally broken down to start with. One never knows, but I do have a feeling that this round is going to better in the long run. Thank you for your prayers.
Well, it's time to get myself ready for my appointment at the hospital this morning, and I will be spending the rest of the day packing up and reading over my instructions on what to take, when to stop eating. The anesthesiologist will also be calling me, probably tonight. I cannot thank all of you enough for your positive thoughts and prayers, and for hanging in there with me.
Hope to 'see' you here soon! Love from Diane
6 comments:
Just think...in less than 24 hours you'll be out of surgery. The worst part will be over and then the fun stuff starts. I know you'll take your recovery seriously and do all of those pt exercises and you'll soon be walking on any beach you want to. I am my mother's daughter and guess where I learned that fear and apprehension are tools to learn from and then overcome? That's right - you!! I love you and will be thinking about you.
Diane, I'm so glad you are less nervous as your surgery - so soon now. As your daughter writes, the worst will be over this time tomorrow.
Di - Your post brought tears to my eyes. You know you have my wishes and thoughts and lots of prayers as you take this GIANT step. I can see you walking without pain and doing what you want to again. I hope you get a good night sleep and it will be over in no time.
It was such a relief to hear that your fear has subsided since yesterday and I hope that continues. {{{{Diane}}}}
Saying prayers fervently tonight that you will sleep well. Will check your blog in the AM for the good news that all went well and that you are resting.
Prayers and wishes for energy and strength heading for Wisconsin. I expect by the time I wake up tomorrow you will be finished with surgery and in the recovery room if not back in you hospital room. I will look here as soon as I can for good news. Love to you and Mary.
We will be thinking about you and sending all our strength and power your way. I know you will do well, and be a stronger person for doing this. Lots of love from all the Vaino's and a special coo from Aaron:)
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